Christian Louboutin... dream

Bikki 140 Pony Mary Jane Pumps, $581

Bikki 140 Leather Mary Jane Pumps, $581

Pampas Pumps 150mm, $551

Lady Daf 160mm Pumps Amethyst, $581

Aveeno?

I'm not sure if this winter is extra drying to my skin, but I have been noticing that my sensitive skin has been ultra itchy... dry... and here's something new: I have suddenly begun to develop painful cracks/cuts and uncomfortable tightness. These painful cuts have been driving me nuts. :( I saw that reapplying lotion several times a day helps, so that reassures me that it's just skin dryness. I've also learned today that AJAX dish soap aggravates my skin and makes it more painful.

Since Palmer's cocoa butter doesn't work anymore, I'm thinking about switching all of my lotions and body wash. :( As a kid, my parents always bought me Dove soap, but I've decided to try Aveeno. I had no idea that they were a company that was sensitive to people with skin issues. A lot of their products are made with oatmeal, lanolin, and are fragrance and dye free. They also have a body wash that is "soap-free," which is a total mind fuck for me. o_O I'm not gonna lie, their "hydrating fig + shea butter" body wash is taunting me. But since my skin is so bad right now, maybe I'll get it another time. Nonetheless, I'm a bit skeptical by all the claims Aveeno makes, but I read a lot of reviews and customers with painful cracked skin mentioned how surprised they are by its efficacy. Apparently their secret is colloidal oats (an oatmeal protein that soothes and protects skin) and dimethicone (skin protectant--which of course the nerd in me found out that it works well because its molecules are too large to penetrate the skin).

SHOPPING LIST!

fragrance free, soap-free, dye-free, hypoallergenic body wash

I think I'm going to get this instead of the regular daily moisturizer because of its extra dry skin claim, extra oats, etc. and customers say it works well during dry winter seasons. I'm kind of skeptical about the menthol part, I've never used it on my skin before. :\

WTF. I'm overwhelmed, apparently Cetaphil and Eucerin are also good products for ultra dry sensitive skin (although I think Eurcerin might be better than Cetaphil based on reading ingredients). Oh well, Aveeno serves as the first trial.

Rant done. :p

Hind-what? For Di. :D

If it wasn't for that giant honors history project back in 9th grade, I probably would never really know Indonesian history.

Ok--so mom is from Balikpapan, Indonesia and dad is from Freeport, Bahamas.

Mom

Today the dominant religion in Indonesia is Islam, but before Arab merchants immigrated in the 14th century, the dominant religions were Buddhism and Hinduism. Indian traders brought Shaivite Hinduism around the 4th or 5th centuries while Buddhism came maybe a century after. If you encounter Indonesians, you'll notice that although they practice Islam, they all still have Hindu names and mannerisms lol. For example mom's first name is Sri which is the Hindu Javanese goddess for prosperity, also known as India's Lakshimi (Vishnu's consort).

Dad

Currently the Bahamas is Catholic (which explains why dad was Catholic first and then converted to Islam in his early teens, thanks to the Nation of Islam and the Black Panther Movement). The Bahamas was originally inhabited by the Lucayans/Taino who are basically a mixture of what we know as modern day Haiti, Dominican Republic, and South America. The Hindu history basically came from East Indians who came to Trinidad, thus "Indo-Trinidadians" and they had spread it around the West Indies. What's sad to me about this whole thing is that no one on dad's side has record of anything and there really isn't any information online. I feel like there is so much back and forth. X_x I guess it's complex because a lot of countries and cultures are meshed in. As of this morning, I learned that you can only find the names of his ancestors in England's family registries. I would ask dad, but I don't feel like hearing his emotional rants because of his intense grudge against white people. -_-' So yeah, dad's history is not recorded as well as mom's and learning about it is a work in progress.

Cool point: I learned that in addition to my Irish, Native American and obviously Bahamian/Haitian blood, I'm also from Barbados. WHOA.

Honestly I think I'm more and more like a mutt because of his side.

Ok bai.

irony.

not to be a prude, but i think it's interesting how we're all expected to say "merry christmas" yet when eid rolls around, i don't recall anyone else wishing me a happy eid ul-fitr or eid ul-adha. and don't start that bullshit about "this is america" because i don't remember history ever depicting white christian people to be natives. honestly, if you're not white, i'm sure christianity wasn't your ancestors' original religion. and yes, eid is on all the damn standard calendars.

oh snap, time to digress.

now that i think about it, my "original" religion is hinduism. which is interesting because even though my parents' countries are seas apart, they both were historically hindu. O_O

whatever. since i'm supposedly liberal and into the equality thing. fuck it. merry xmas to those who celebrate it.

Not sure if being "home" means it's worth feeling hurt everyday.

Well I haven't balanced equations in like. Forever.

I guess ShoutMix is going out of the window

So I got a long ass e-mail from my shoutbox provider...

"I have two choices. One, allow ShoutMix to become unsustainable. This is bad news for everyone. The other choice is to stop our free service. It is becoming obvious that this is where ShoutMix should go. And so, ShoutMix is not going to be free any more.

Existing users will be able to continue using their accounts at no cost right now. The transition will begin within a few weeks. Eventually, users with free accounts will need to switch to a paying plan or stop using the service. The date is set at January 1, 2012. After this date, free accounts will stop working unless upgraded to a paid plan."

Oh well. Goodbye shoutbox area. I was getting annoyed of deleting posts from spammers anyway. Fuck it. o_O

Paranoid? Can't even trust my damn apple juice. Why does America think consumers will never catch on?

Are America’s Kids Drinking Arsenic and Lead in Fruit Juice?

• by Jaelithe Judy
• December 2, 2011
• 11:00 am

Are U.S. children who drink fruit juice at risk of exposure to potentially harmful levels of arsenic?

No, said the U.S. Food and Drug Administration in September, in a paper titled “Apple Juice is Safe to Drink,” released by the FDA in response to an episode of the Dr. Oz Show that claimed tests commissioned by the show had found potentially unsafe levels of arsenic in certain U.S. apple juice brands. The FDA roundly criticized the Dr. Oz Show for its testing methods, claiming that the show did not take steps to distinguish between inorganic arsenic — which is a known carcinogen — and organic arsenic — which the FDA considers to be a less harmful form of the naturally occurring element.

Yes, says a Consumer Reports study released this week, in which ten percent of the samples of popular apple and grape juice brands tested came back positive for inorganic arsenic levels above the U.S. legal limit for safe drinking water. And it gets worse: one in four of the juice samples also tested positive for levels of lead above the legal drinking water limit.

In July of this year (months before, I should note, the Dr. Oz episode on arsenic in apple juice aired), I wrote that a study commissioned by the Empire State Consumer Project found potentially alarming levels of poisonous arsenic in certain brands of fruit juice that are commonly marketed to children. The Empire State study revealed that certain samples of Mott’s apple juice to be more than five times the U.S. legal limit for safe drinking water.

It was a small study, with a limited sample size, but the Empire State results echoed findings revealed in a March 2010 expose by the St. Petersburg Times: independent scientific tests commissioned by the newspaper showed that out of 18 samples of popular apple juice brands, more than one quarter contained between 25 and 35 parts per billion of arsenic — also well above the U.S.Environmental Protection Agency’s limit for safe levels in drinking water, which is just 10 parts per billion.

Where is the arsenic in fruit juice coming from? Some arsenic exists naturally at low levels in soil and water, but arsenic has also been used for decades as a wood preservative and as an ingredient in agricultural pesticides. Many pesticides that contain arsenic have been banned in the United States, but some soils here are still contaminated. And arsenic-based pesticides are still in heavy use in China — which now exports most of the apple juice concentrate used by U.S. juice companies.

In that same July post on arsenic in juice, I also noted that testing by the Environmental Law Foundation conducted on juice drinks and snack foods commonly marketed to children found significant levels of lead in 85% of 150 brands tested.

Lead contamination of plants and trees can occur where soil has contaminated by lead-based paint, industrial waste or leaded gasoline.

Arsenic and lead are both poisonous in large doses to humans, and chronic exposure at low levels can be harmful to both adults and children; both chemicals are linked to cancer, damage to the nervous system and heart disease.

Read more: http://www.care2.com/causes/are-americas-kids-drinking-arsenic-and-lead-in-fruit-juice.html#ixzz1gesdsceQ

Tired and moody. Finals week makes me want to go on a bitch slapping spree.

raaawwrrr <(~_~)>

Friendship is fleeting. Networth is permanent. When you visit King Tut's tomb, what do you see? His friends? No. His gold.

my favorite new saying^

...JOKINGLY, this is taking a jab at acquaintances.

"fuck people, get money." -http://twitter.com/harvardasianguy

sure there's always a more sincere way to do things, but GET REAL. money defines what you have, just pray that it doesn't change you and your so-called morals.

When you realize you can actually learn things in school. Mind blown.

Microwave cake, guys.

Okay... so in the midst of studying for finals, I was really craving some chocolate cake. Any cake really, I just had a sweet tooth is all. I felt like I had most of the ingredients necessary to make a cake from scratch, ...just no means of a real oven. Balls.

BUT OH WAIT. Lightbulb. They call them microwave OVENS for a reason, riiiight?? Right.

And here we are, surfing hand-in-hand with le'Google. BAM. Microwave cake recipes...

apparently I wasn't the only one who considered it. Anyway, I took a midnight break and decided to experiment despite the negative "bitter" and "tough" comments people left about the idea in general.

The original recipe called for...

4 tbsp. all purpose flour

4 tbsp. sugar

2 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa

1 egg

3 tbsp. milk

3 tbsp. oil

1 large mug :D

Combine ingredients in large mug and microwave on high for 3 minutes. Let it sit in the microwave for an additional 2 minutes, then remove and enjoy.

And the results...

The texture was a little stiff and was more bread like. It wasn't bitter because I tasted the batter first and it was indeed bitter (my guess is the cocoa powder ratio) and so I added 2 tsp. of vanilla extract. Tasted so much better. But I was still unhappy with its stiffness, if I wanted chocolate bread...this would be the ultimate recipe. So I decided to try again and edit the recipe.

My tweaked recipe (so far)...

4 tbsp. all purpose flour

4 tbsp. sugar

2 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa
1 egg

3 tbsp. milk

3 tbsp. oil

2tbsp. apple butter

2 tsp vanilla extract

*reduce cooking time by 30sec to 1min.

And the results...

It definitely tasted better and was a lot more moist. I think I'm not done experimenting until I find a texture that I like the most and a flavor I like. This kind of came out a little too sweet for my taste, I think I'll reduce the sugar if I'm going to add something like apple butter. I kind of want to try a light lemon version.

Today's lesson: when you're broke, don't own an oven and you're too much of a penny pincher like myself to by a table top convection oven... nothing is ever impossible! Yay for microwaves lol.

The story of my life.

omfg finals are slapping me in the face.

monkey = finals
man = me

I have found... my one true love....

Sleepy, but thinking quite a bit. From now on, I am going to fight myself and try to highlight the positives within myself.

There are a lot of things on my mind and I realized that maybe I am hindered from writing an actual meaningful post because my mind is hesitant to admit what really is going on. Although I have noticed that my blogging has seriously diminished to quick headlines and endless pictures, as if I could collate my life into a magazine. That is not me. I articulate with words, not coloring books. I think I have surrendered to the estranged lifestyle of not blogging, but "reblogging." Sometimes I wish that people wouldn't try so hard to change blogspheres into forms of Facebook or MySpace. Both of which I never really could become attached to. I try though lol. I do like, however, this Twitter thing. I think my Tweets come off as bitch status, but whatever. These are things I am thinking, not literally saying.

Anyway, change of pace.

I have procrastinated all week, but I feel that I shouldn't feel terrible for it. I deserved to relax my brain from worrying about le'academics. Although I am behind in a lot of readings, I caught up with old friends whom I realized I really did miss. It was a nice change to be in the presence of true debate rather than receiving gawking looks, have my words parroted back to me, or something which is new to me that I experienced last week: I was asked what bothered me, I caved and explained, and their response was to talk about themselves. I was astounded and disappointed because this particular person was 6 years my senior. Wisdom is supposed to come with age, right? Wrong. So I have discovered or have been reminded rather that a person really has to be intellectually stimulating for me to appreciate their presence. Chris also brought to my attention last weekend that something that depresses him about me is that I am very, very hard to impress. I couldn't reject that statement because... I know it's true. I think that showed me why I am so easily upset, disappointed and thus not very eager to "socialize." Maybe a friend of mine is right, perhaps I haven't found my own circle yet. I thought about this and realized that circles or clubs are meaningless to me because just because it is one group... does not necessarily mean that each individual there will be of value to my lonesome mind.

And just like that, I'm tired of blogging and my state of mind is gasping for air.

Time to go out, adieu~

Muchas gracias Stephanie para la cena y los juegos de anoche!! que era muy divertido! ;)

It's weird having more readers...

because there are really some personal things about myself that I want to talk about but can't. Having more readers sort of feels like I don't have that much privacy anymore.

Anyway.
Second appointment with a psychologist.
Bringing lots of Kleenexes.
I've finally gathered courage to get some real and insightful help to fight my demons.
I thought friends would be enough, but they're not. They've got their own growing up to do and their doubts don't seem to suffice.
I have lost my patience.
Here I go.

First Sarah Palin then Herman Cain, oh GOP you are no better than the donkies.

I lmao at the first few minutes of the ever so awkwardly quiet interview. Besides, I'm not sure I can support someone who pronounces Arab as "ey-rab."

classic.

Just one of those days where you wanna quit school and become a stripper.

I feel like I have to take some sort of quiz or exam every other day. I'm a sad panda. :'(

The first time I witnessed Latino vs Black hate

was today on the bus. It was for no reason. I pretended to listen to music on my iPod, but it was clearly instigated by the black folk... who were much older and I would have expected more from them. It was so ignorant and uncalled for. The Latino guy was minding his own business and once instigated, he had his "homies" on speed dial. All in all, it really broke my heart to see that nearing 2012, there is still racial hate and not just black versus white. It just didn't make sense to me. It wasn't right and I hope someone tells that Latino guy that he is NOT any of those things the black people were calling him. He was actually handsome, had long beautiful eyelashes and he should be proud to be what he is. Although he shouldn't have to, I'm glad he got off the bus earlier than he intended in order to avoid conflict. I normally capitalize the "b" in black when I refer to race, but this time... I feel like this is a situation that those people did not deserve it.

No offense, but I am just disappointed.

So aside from studying for yet ANOTHER FAT bio exam...

I ended my 3.5 month no wash ordeal and my scalp was finally getting oily. After a shampooing, I noticed that the condition of my hair was horrible. It was beyond dry, hair clumps (not strands!) were falling out, and areas of uneven perms/relaxers were obvious. As some of you may recall from old posts, I spent a lot of time on my hair using natural care during high school. I spaced out my perms every 6 months. In between perms, I either used unrefined coconut or avocado oils or made my own spritz using EVOO, ylang-ylang, rosemary and what not. I realized after living on my own and juggling college as well as campus hooligans, I have lost my hair care regimen.

So I decided to get back into basic care and protective hair styling to try and at least bring SOME relief to my hair. Today I did a 30 minute deep condition with Queen Helene's Hair Cholesterol (of course I ended up adding 6-10 drops of Australian Tea Tree Oil) and after washing it out, I heavily moisturized with unrefined coconut oil, combed it out and covered my hair bun with a stocking cap. My hair looked so thirsty beforehand!

I'm sorry I've neglected you, curly hair!! :o

....okay and back to biology and study groups via phone. -____-
bye. <3

Hopefully this will last me a week...

- 1box multigrain pasta
- black beans (rinse beans to rinse off all the salt)
- garbonzo beans (a.k.a. "chick peas")
- fire roasted garlic tomatoes
- 1can tomato paste
- 2 heads fresh broccoli, chopped
- 1 red potato, chopped
- and I made this all up, so if you don't like it, oh well!
- I never add salt to my dishes (blood pressure paranoia), so it's easy for me to enjoy all the natural flavors :)

MIDTERM TOMORROW!!

And a research project due Friday.
Also, I caught a cold.

ANNNGGSST. I'd just like to roll around and sleep, thank you.
Bye.

P.S. Mirrors and pictures of me that friends take makes me feel fat and ugly.

So...tired. Headache, grumpy, & poor.

Just spent all my money touring some very close friends-like-family from San Diego these past four days. Now my mission is complete and they're gone. But now it's time to re-buckle down and study some more for this FAT exam tomorrow in biology.

BIO.
FML.

<<cell phone and other electronics are now off again>>

Happy 20th, miss Bee!

So my sister is trying to run for ASB president at her high school.

AND SOMEONE'S MOM TOLD HER SHE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HERSELF.
That mother then told their child, whom has been friends with my sister for years, to run against my sister and use the argument that she is not white nor christian.
WHAT THE FUCK.
Please help me understand WHAT is there to be ashamed of???! No seriously, I really want to know what is so shameful for wanting to be class president.
Oh I get it. Is it because Obama's president and so parents don't want kids who "look like" Obama to think they can run for ASB president in high school?? Ohhhhh noooo people, we just absolutely cannot have colored children really think they are capable of leadership! Then they'll think they have a chance at being president of the country.

...See, makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
Yes, I am thoroughly pissed off. What the hell is going on in this country?!

I don't get why this is so hard to understand.

U.S.

Obama Tax Plan Would Ask More of Millionaires

By JACKIE CALMES

Published: September 17, 2011

President Obama will seek a new minimum tax rate to ensure that people making more than $1 million a year pay at least the same percentage of their earnings as middle-income taxpayers, administration officials said.

This all started because I signed that petition for student loan forgiveness. I checked my inbox and saw an e-mail asking me to pledge money so the republicans may have enough funds to air ads on television against Obama's proposed Buffet Rule. The disconnect in logic for me is why republicans cannot see why millionaires should be taxed more (FYI: when people say "more," it means more than what they already pay, which is currently less than middle class and the fight is to have millionaires pay AT LEAST the same tax rate as the middle class). I do not understand as to WHY it MAKES SENSE for those with an annual salary of $1 MILLION to have a lower tax rate than the middle class, which I may remind you, MAKE LESS. That's why they are called the fucking MIDDLE class. Some may argue that it makes sense (bologna) because they earned that money and it should not be taken away from them. Quite honestly, that sounds profoundly retarded to me. Individuals from ALL classes earn money. So are you saying that ALL OF US should, instead, pay NO taxes at all?

Frankly, what the fuck.

Want a Real Economic Stimulus and Jobs Plan? Forgive Student Loan Debt!

Regardless if you have loans or not, consider those who do.
Sign the petition.

http://signon.org/sign/want-a-real-economic?source=s.em.cp&r_by=694560

(via la hermosa sirena)

Thanks to other 12,435 people (and counting), I'm relieved I'm not the only one with such thoughts.

R.I.P. the 2,976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,690,903 Iraqi people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit & the hundreds of thousands of Palestinians who experience this everyday.

(Source: falustniaaxo)

♥ Sep 11th at 11AM / via: mebehindmyheart / op: falustniaaxo / reblog / 12,435 notes

(via la hermosa sirena)

Day 13 without my laptop.

Hard drive crashed.
Central Computers are backed up and taking forever.
Library and public print stations, here I am.

Makin' BANK on Amazon.com! :D

I got...

Fajas/waist cinchers
Hair pieces [pending]
Textbooks [half gone!!]
Samsung digital camera [sold]
Classroom clickers [sold]

...too lazy to put up a link, pics, whatever.
I just wanted to share my monetary relief. :)

...Now it's time to go figure out how to spend it on this semester's textbooks.
It won't pay for all of them, but anything helps. I feel like I always have to make ends meet. *double sigh*

Ledisi - Pieces of Me

Sketchy living situation. Moving... yet again.

Basic Indonesian Spices

You can never go wrong with:
Tumeric
Kaffir Lime Leaves
Corriander
Lemon grass
Galanga
Ginger
Garlic
Chili
Coconut milk

With different combinations of these, you've pretty much found the basis to Indonesian dishes. And quite frankly,
most Southeast Asian meals. :)

Perfumes!

I think I am slowly upgrading from average body sprays to the more mature scents in perfumes. I probably will never give up body sprays as large bottles can go a long way for less than $20. But for nearly a year, I've had my head wrapped around perfumes... wishing I could own bottles of Givenchy L'intense, Gucci Guilty, Lancome Hypnose, Chanel Mademoiselle, etc. etc.

But today, I DID IT. Splurged (or at least my cheap ass felt like it was) on mini vials. I must say, it was pretty realistic/practical for my empty wallet. I got:

[FULL BOTTLE] Elizabeth Arden's True Love $20 (retail $50)

Ralph Lauren's Romance $5.49 (retail $94.20)

Givenchy Pi $14.78 ($85.58)

Coco Chanel Mademoiselle $5.98 ($115)
-----------------------------------
TOTAL: $46.25 ($344.78)
I saved $298.53!

You're probably thinking that all of these are just 5ml bottles (excluding Elizabeth Arden... I got a great deal on the full 3.3oz), but I think it's worth it especially since perfume lasts a while for me. I doubt I would be using them frequently because of the fact that full 3oz bottles are incredibly expensive. JUST CUZ I'M PO' DON'T MEAN I GOTTA SMELL PO' lol :p

Besides, I don't have the mental capacity to pay so much for just perfume. -_-

However next on my sample list are:

Givenchy L'intense

Gucci Guilty

Lancome Hypnose

Honestly, the only perfumes I really would adore to have regularly on my dresser are Givenchy (either one), Gucci's Guilty and Chanel's Mademoiselle. These three scents most definitely illustrate my personality. :)

Day 2 of Fasting :|

ram·a·dan/ˈräməˌdän/
Noun: The ninth month of the Muslim year, during which strict fasting is observed from sunrise to sunset.

During the blessed month of Ramadan, Muslims all over the world abstain from food, drink, and other physical needs during the daylight hours. As a time to purify the soul, refocus attention on God, and practice self-sacrifice, Ramadan is much more than just not eating and drinking.

Muslims are called upon to use this month to re-evaluate their lives in light of Islamic guidance. We are to make peace with those who have wronged us, strengthen ties with family and friends, do away with bad habits -- essentially to clean up our lives, our thoughts, and our feelings. The Arabic word for "fasting" (sawm) literally means "to refrain" - and it means not only refraining from food and drink, but from evil actions, thoughts, and words.

During Ramadan, every part of the body must be restrained. The tongue must be restrained from backbiting and gossip. The eyes must restrain themselves from looking at unlawful things. The hand must not touch or take anything that does not belong to it. The ears must refrain from listening to idle talk or obscene words. The feet must refrain from going to sinful places. In such a way, every part of the body observes the fast.

Therefore, fasting is not merely physical, but is rather the total commitment of the person's body and soul to the spirit of the fast. Ramadan is a time to practice self-restraint; a time to cleanse the body and soul from impurities and re-focus one's self on the worship of God.
(http://islam.about.com/od/ramadan/f/ramadanintro.htm)

It's the least I can do for all the obscenities (or at least I think so) I commit during the year. -_-

Ramadhan Mubarak!