sleepily staring at these recently acknowledged blank, white walls.
maybe within time, they won't be such an eye sore.
still sleepily thinking about myself. who am i? what do i want?
right now i would rather be nothing.
people seem to always categorize into some preconceived notion of a "type" of personality.
nerd. "creative." hipster. religious. loner. lover. weirdo. rebel.

a title. a label.

"more laid back," "not serious enough," "oh... not the type."
no matter what, you are a label.
so different, yet still the same.
obviously not the same as others from different categories, but the same follower as those within the group you identify with.
so what's this mess about not being "cool enough" because you're not "different enough"?
sounds like bullshit to me, really.
or maybe people part because their labels clash, not necessarily because one is better than the other?

...as for me, i've thought about which label i'm categorized best as...
i really don't fit in any.
so maybe for now... i'm an academic droid with no "personality" who is in recurring denial.

yeah, i made that up. but it sounds about right for now.

but "oddly" enough. i don't feel like changing it.

and "oddly" enough. i am slowly accepting that it just might be very much who i am.

...naturally.

eh. g'night.

--edit--

i reread this and the line, "i would rather be nothing" might turn some heads.

i think by using the word "nothing" in such context, i don't literally mean nothing/emptiness.

by "nothing," my thoughts and feelings were more along the lines that people have the tendency to believe that if you don't fit within those common, general labels... you're either "boring" or "out-of-style." Thus, "no personality."

and because i don't comfortably fit among those labels for long periods of time, i would rather be "nothing," under no label.

my label.