Oppress

To realize in the end that the true reality is when you're all alone. Notice that when there is no one you can go to, no one to call, no one to expect... displays whether or not you really live in loneliness. The truth in life is when everyone is gone and you can't think of anyone to be with, speak to, or see. True loneliness especially exists when the rules to living daily life supports such a habitat. The reality of it all bleeds through when you find comfort in being face down upon the carpet, feeling the pain in your chest pump through your eyes and burn your cheeks. Is the real goal in life to survive such loneliness, or contemplate ways to solve it? You lay there trying, but your cheeks burn regardless.

On fire...

The fires all over San Diego County caused school and other offices to be closed for the rest of the week! Since I already did my homework Sunday night... I don't have any homework and I'm a bit bored. Despite the fact that I wake up more tired than ever, I still get up at 7am, thinking I should be doing something. I'm not worried about having to evacuate because we live deeper in the city as well as near the beaches. A lot of people have been texting me and calling me about the fires and pretty much just updating me about the situation.

There's no school for the rest of the week and I hope people are all right, but I'm hot and bored as hell. I also have the feeling that school might be canceled for a few days next week because we're getting into the weekend and a whole new fire has begun in another area. Some fires are also combining to form a super fire. It's a raging 95 degrees, the air is dry and full of ash. I went out today and my eyes, nose and chest were scratchy and such. I wish it would rain already, dammit! However I do think I'll just read for the rest of the week... maintain that knowledge (ha!).

I've also been looking into building my own bookshelf or something. I don't want to do the old fashion cement blocks and wooden boards because it looks like how much it costs, cheap. I don't think the screws and pieces that I need will cost that much... nor do I think it would take a lot of time.

Oh well... since I feel like to be entertained, I'll go catch up on some of the things Di has e-mailed to me.

Btw... I got an Ionic Pro Air Purifier yesterday! I'm so excited about it. Although its complete silenceness disturbs me (I'm constantly wondering if it's working).

Ciao <3

O_O;;

Internships started last week, they were very fun. I heard that when I graduate, I would graduate with a HS degree as well as a degree in Medical Assisting. Not sure if that's impressive... but oh well. Been really tired, nothing I do is helpful to maintain energy throughout my day. I get sleepy easily and I suppose I bleed easily, too. Anxiety, eh?

I got a cool 1GB black Ipod nano looking thing last week. At first I wasn't crazy about MP3 players, but sure is hell of a lot easier to carry and load songs than a regular CD player. $40 well spent. Also, I really love the effect of the essential/carrier oils that I use on my hair than the typical hair grease. My hair gets shinier by the day, I particularly like the results I get from using avocado oil:

*sigh* Got math and physics tests on Monday, pray that I do well, guys.

Freaking the f*ck out

OK, just as I assumed, my schedule has become more of an inconsiderate ass than I expected. The majority of my classes now have textbooks and guess what, we now also have homework. Ugh! I just found out that an essay for History is due this Friday... whereas everyone else knew about it for a week or so. I also have to mesmerize shit for history tomorrow (the teacher's teaching method is to make students teach the class instead), I haven't done the 100 math problems yet... I also have my ASB speech on Friday. Yes. I am running for class president (need something to put on those college applications, y'know?)

I just want to crawl into a hole and cuddle my hubby... *sobs*

New phone and service!

Kawaiiiii! I just bought myself a "new" phone from someone earlier this morning during my walk in the rain. I'm glad I got a newer phone because my old flip phone was beginning to be a problem when charging (the charging entrance is screwed up). The cause was probably the same as my old Motorola phone. Poor electric outlets. Hopefully dad'll fix the electrical wiring in the house so I may keep this phone longer than a year.

As some of you may already know, I also have changed carriers as well as numbers. My new wireless provider is Cricket Wireless, ...yes, I did actually go for it. I was like, "oh hell, give it a try!" Besides, it'll save a lot of money in the long run. For a cheap monthly fee, I get unlimited everything (texting, pix messaging, local + long distance calls). I don't think I'll be picture messaging a lot because I heard that picture messaging can be delayed up to two days. That sucks, but I'm OK with it because I don't normally pix message a lot anyway. I'm a cheap ass, what can I say? =P

I also got a kawaii teddy bear charm. In a way, it makes me feel all cuddly and warm inside... (reminds me of Hawks, too). lol

I really like my phone, I've been wanting a slider phone for a year now. I've also been researching phones and services for a year, too. Oh and of course, thanks to Hawksy for helping me out. =)

"High School"

The tears that have dried upon my face,
Seems to only occur when I attempt to run this race

The scent of silence that has been inflicted,
Is a fragrance that can be seen and smelt,
By the many intended

Those in light are ones who suffer...
Blinded, senseless, and lost
Defines us as those without another

A Taste of Amy Winehouse

I discovered her a month or two ago, but didn't really care for her until Sarah Silverman made a joke about her at the recent VMAs. I believe she called Amy Winehouse, "a Jew on crack," ...anyway, that made me want to listen to a couple of Winehouse's songs before I should allow Silverman to influence any judgment I may have about her. So after surfing around YouTube and reading a few lyrics, her voice isn't that bad. She's like a... modern Nina Simone and I only compare her to Simone because of how deep sounding their voices are. Will she be as great as Simone? Who knows... but I'm diggin' her so far.

Rehab -- Amy Winehouse

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back you'll know, know know
I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
Just tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go

I’d rather be at home with Ray
I ain’t got seventy days
Cos there’s nothing, nothing you can teach me
That I can’t learn from Mr Hathaway

I didn’t get a lot in class
But I know it don’t come in a shot glass

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back you'll know, know know
I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
Just tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go

The man said why you think you here?
I said I got no idea
I’m gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby
So I always keep a bottle near
He said I just think you’re depressed
This me,Yeah baby, and the rest

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back you'll know, know know

I don’t ever want to drink again
I just, ooh I just need a friend
I’m not gonna spend ten weeks
And have everyone think I'm on the mend

And it’s not just my pride
It’s just til these tears have dried

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back you'll know, know know
I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
Just tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go

In my opinion, she sung this song pretty well to a catchy beat. A few other ones that I like are Do Me Good and Fuck Me Pumps. Perhaps I should buy her album? ...Perhaps.