Molasses?

Alrighty. I feel better today, still feeling betrayed, but better.

So, I'm noticing my hair when I brush it every morning after I wake up. It feels and looks different, but I don't want to just assume things because I changed my regime a bit. Remember last time when I tried different oils to naturally make my hair healthy? Well, I finally obtained a bottle of blackstrap molasses (smells so disgusting) and whipped up some kind of concoction that I think turned out well.

- 1/2 c. Plantation Blackstrap Molasses
- 3 drops 100% Omega 3-6-9 Total EFA Fish Oil
- 2 tbsp. Clover Honey
- 4 tbsp. Creme of Nature Conditioner (without sodium lauryl sulfate)
- 1 drop 100% E.O. Rosemary

Before:

After:

The before picture looked good, but my hair seemed too heavy compared to the after pictures. I also stopped using Avocado oil for a while. Now I just use Ylang Ylang with virgin olive oil and from time to time virgin coconut oil. But a majority of the time, it's the Ylang Ylang mixture. I think the molasses mix balanced my hair's thickness. The after picture looks more lively than the before, I thought. My hair is also softer and darker in pigment. Shall I keep using this? :-)

On This Tuesday...

Semi-brief update:

School ended June 16th, but I enrolled in two classes at the local community college. I took American History 109 and Health 101. History was full of BS, but somehow I managed to pull a 'B.' I didn't care because I hated it so much, I just wanted to pass since I already have A's in everything else. My college GPA is down to a 3.81 and so far I have earned 16 units. I suppose I should feel accomplished, but at the same time, I think I could have done better. I officially began summer break August 8th, however, I will return to school after Labor Day on September 2nd. It never ends, especially if you want to get ahead in the "real world."

I happened to accomplish most of the agenda I had set out in the last post. I'm fairly admiring the layout. It's the first time I used vector masks in Photoshop effortlessly. But I left out one thing. Yup, number one: rest up. I feel like it is my duty, but I feel so tired of my family. I don't want to sound so selfish, but I feel robbed of any "me time." I can't even do something towards personal things, like get a job. At the moment, I am also hurt and disappointed in my sisters. They know what they did and I don't want to speak of it. It feels like it's beyond words. I don't know. It seems that the more I help around here and obey, the more I want to delay time in having a family of my own.

Today: Although I was able to spend time outside and go out to the movies to see The House Bunny with Jenna, I still feel tightly scheduled. It may have been two to three hours, but the things that happened before and after just didn't really make it feel as rewarding as it could have been. Beforehand, mom comes bursting in my room to wake me up, no good morning or anything. And I hate waking up that way. I absolutely hate it because all day I drive here and there with no money of my own, no please or thank you. Just constantly a busboy and chauffeur. After I got home, I tried to get ready to go to Jenna's as calm as possible (otherwise my anxiety will kick in and my hands will tremble viciously). But dad began complaining about why I haven't designed/made a letterhead for one of his clients. I reassess myself and fix it as calmly as possible. I fix it and leave as soon as possible. Spent time with Jenna, relaxed a bit, laughed a bit, I basically enjoyed her company. Afterward, I came home. I went to the bathroom and almost started yelling about the trash overflowing, but I didn't. I decided to take a hot shower. I reach into my dresser and notice my journal is missing. I look in other drawers and realize something: this isn't where I left it before I left. Long story short, I'm very hurt and disappointed that respect and privacy isn't something that is exercised here. It was the last straw that blew my fuse. I think I was so bothered by it that I am completely, utterly indifferent. Just simply extreme oblivion. I suppose I can also describe it as a feeling of... emptiness.

I'm going to try to reassure myself and make myself more at ease by watching something.

Boy. What a day.

The pre-update post

Okay, so I suppose I'm finally out for summer in terms of doing things academic related. My agenda at the moment:

1) rest up because feeling tired so easily lately
2) clean room
3) update blog layout
4) make a new entry

A lot has happened, too tired to tell.

Until next time!

- Mai