Winter Break, bitches!

Maaaan, it's finally Winter Break (technically, Christmas Break, but the Whites don't wanna feel like they're religiously discriminating...). Although I have term papers due for my college classes after the break, I'm glad that I don't have to be in school everyday for 10 hours. I'm so busy and tired, that when I get on the computer to work, I don't even sign in MSN Messenger anymore (IMing seems to distract me and cause HW time to delay). Once I'm through, I don't feel like chatting. I don't know... I don't have that yearn for instant messaging anymore ever since I've become busy with school and hospital internships. It feels like I'm slowly locking my nerd-girl away and leaving the workaholic student out more consistently. And now that I have somewhat of a break, I don't want to deal with electronics. I suppose it's because I use them so much for working that I also want a break from them, too.

School is going OK, I guess. My teachers like me (thank God) and my peers respect me. My college classes are coming to end and I will have to decide on additional classes for the Spring semester. I will be taking Anatomy and Physiology 101 and Infection Control 100 in Spring, but I'm considering taking Multimedia 101 as an elective because I currently have none whatsoever. One of the counselors also told me that I am allowed to take summer classes at the college, how fantastic is that?! They're paying for 12 units during the school year and 6-8 units during the summer session. I'm really excited for that, I'm thinking to take college Spanish since they make you take two years of it anyway. Less classes once I'm a full time college student, right? Not to mention less class costs, too.

Although I'm hoping for a 3.8 or 3.9, my current GPA is 3.66, but I feel accomplished in a way. I remind myself that I'm taking more rigorous courses than most high school students and a lot can't maintain a GPA of that sort. This school year is pretty good, my mental stability is much better and I'm getting San Diego State Univ. to pay for some of my Mesa College classes.

I'm very thankful for what I have. :-)

P.S. Two weeks ago while I was in my OB rotation, I absolutely loved it. I got to stand right beside an OB doctor deliver a baby and perform stitches along the vaginal wall and opening (the patient also looked like her uterus collapsed...). Sure it was "gross," bloody, and incredibly messy... but after that day, I felt like I really am made for that department. That one guy who said that OB was a terrible place and a nightmare, my experience was the complete opposite. It showed how amazing births are and how complex the female anatomy is. Our gender is so much more special than guys. Definitely. :-P What made the day even more interesting, was that as my mentor's patient gave birth, a death was announced over the intercom in the Cardio Lab. One of my classmates was there, witnessing it. And if you think about it... while that person was breathing their last, another was inhaling their first.

...Pretty amazing, eh? XD

Until next,
<3

Success.

Those people on the hair forums were right, there is no set mix because everyone is different... so everyone will have their own formula. I finally found a mixture/regime that my hair loves.

My natural hair type: Between 4A and 4B... my hair type is the most fragile, delicate, and prone to breakage

Oil Mix: 2 drops 100% Ylang Ylang Oil, diluted with 60mL 100% Cold Pressed EVOO (for intense moisturizing)

Shampoo/Conditioner: Add 1-2 tbsp. of clover honey, massage and let it sit for 5-10 minutes

Flat iron: Using Avocado Oil as I press my hair seems to keep it moist as well as shiney

If you haven't noticed, all the oils that ended up working for me were the ones that met the problems my scalp had. I always had sensitive skin and could easily develop eczema or psoriasis basically anywhere. Although I had special soaps and lotions, I could never find a shampoo or hair moisturizer that worked for my hair as well as my scalp conditions. I'm so glad I found Ylang Ylang essential oil and after I did more research, I was like, "err duh!" Beforehand, I tried oils that tried to either dry or hydrate my scalp (i.e. Rosemary oil to hydrate). But Ylang Ylang works to balance sebum production, which has given me by far the best results I've seen. Plus, it lowers high blood pressure and depression.
Avocado oil is pretty good, too. It's full of healthy Omega fats and vitamins, which my hair loves because it combats the drying and other damages that are caused by flat ironing.

Picture Update: My hair isn't too dry or shiney from being too oily :-)

I also did Nora's hair out of boredom. I used Avocado oil on her because it's not as expensive as Ylang Ylang, she has no scalp conditions, and her hair is already long. Her hair is usually just frizzy and dry. (I curled her hair, too just for fun lol.)

Her hair loves Avocado oil, it's so black and soft. I wish my hair would curl that nicely with the iron...

Until next time!

<3

Oppress

To realize in the end that the true reality is when you're all alone. Notice that when there is no one you can go to, no one to call, no one to expect... displays whether or not you really live in loneliness. The truth in life is when everyone is gone and you can't think of anyone to be with, speak to, or see. True loneliness especially exists when the rules to living daily life supports such a habitat. The reality of it all bleeds through when you find comfort in being face down upon the carpet, feeling the pain in your chest pump through your eyes and burn your cheeks. Is the real goal in life to survive such loneliness, or contemplate ways to solve it? You lay there trying, but your cheeks burn regardless.

On fire...

The fires all over San Diego County caused school and other offices to be closed for the rest of the week! Since I already did my homework Sunday night... I don't have any homework and I'm a bit bored. Despite the fact that I wake up more tired than ever, I still get up at 7am, thinking I should be doing something. I'm not worried about having to evacuate because we live deeper in the city as well as near the beaches. A lot of people have been texting me and calling me about the fires and pretty much just updating me about the situation.

There's no school for the rest of the week and I hope people are all right, but I'm hot and bored as hell. I also have the feeling that school might be canceled for a few days next week because we're getting into the weekend and a whole new fire has begun in another area. Some fires are also combining to form a super fire. It's a raging 95 degrees, the air is dry and full of ash. I went out today and my eyes, nose and chest were scratchy and such. I wish it would rain already, dammit! However I do think I'll just read for the rest of the week... maintain that knowledge (ha!).

I've also been looking into building my own bookshelf or something. I don't want to do the old fashion cement blocks and wooden boards because it looks like how much it costs, cheap. I don't think the screws and pieces that I need will cost that much... nor do I think it would take a lot of time.

Oh well... since I feel like to be entertained, I'll go catch up on some of the things Di has e-mailed to me.

Btw... I got an Ionic Pro Air Purifier yesterday! I'm so excited about it. Although its complete silenceness disturbs me (I'm constantly wondering if it's working).

Ciao <3

O_O;;

Internships started last week, they were very fun. I heard that when I graduate, I would graduate with a HS degree as well as a degree in Medical Assisting. Not sure if that's impressive... but oh well. Been really tired, nothing I do is helpful to maintain energy throughout my day. I get sleepy easily and I suppose I bleed easily, too. Anxiety, eh?

I got a cool 1GB black Ipod nano looking thing last week. At first I wasn't crazy about MP3 players, but sure is hell of a lot easier to carry and load songs than a regular CD player. $40 well spent. Also, I really love the effect of the essential/carrier oils that I use on my hair than the typical hair grease. My hair gets shinier by the day, I particularly like the results I get from using avocado oil:

*sigh* Got math and physics tests on Monday, pray that I do well, guys.

Freaking the f*ck out

OK, just as I assumed, my schedule has become more of an inconsiderate ass than I expected. The majority of my classes now have textbooks and guess what, we now also have homework. Ugh! I just found out that an essay for History is due this Friday... whereas everyone else knew about it for a week or so. I also have to mesmerize shit for history tomorrow (the teacher's teaching method is to make students teach the class instead), I haven't done the 100 math problems yet... I also have my ASB speech on Friday. Yes. I am running for class president (need something to put on those college applications, y'know?)

I just want to crawl into a hole and cuddle my hubby... *sobs*

New phone and service!

Kawaiiiii! I just bought myself a "new" phone from someone earlier this morning during my walk in the rain. I'm glad I got a newer phone because my old flip phone was beginning to be a problem when charging (the charging entrance is screwed up). The cause was probably the same as my old Motorola phone. Poor electric outlets. Hopefully dad'll fix the electrical wiring in the house so I may keep this phone longer than a year.

As some of you may already know, I also have changed carriers as well as numbers. My new wireless provider is Cricket Wireless, ...yes, I did actually go for it. I was like, "oh hell, give it a try!" Besides, it'll save a lot of money in the long run. For a cheap monthly fee, I get unlimited everything (texting, pix messaging, local + long distance calls). I don't think I'll be picture messaging a lot because I heard that picture messaging can be delayed up to two days. That sucks, but I'm OK with it because I don't normally pix message a lot anyway. I'm a cheap ass, what can I say? =P

I also got a kawaii teddy bear charm. In a way, it makes me feel all cuddly and warm inside... (reminds me of Hawks, too). lol

I really like my phone, I've been wanting a slider phone for a year now. I've also been researching phones and services for a year, too. Oh and of course, thanks to Hawksy for helping me out. =)

"High School"

The tears that have dried upon my face,
Seems to only occur when I attempt to run this race

The scent of silence that has been inflicted,
Is a fragrance that can be seen and smelt,
By the many intended

Those in light are ones who suffer...
Blinded, senseless, and lost
Defines us as those without another

A Taste of Amy Winehouse

I discovered her a month or two ago, but didn't really care for her until Sarah Silverman made a joke about her at the recent VMAs. I believe she called Amy Winehouse, "a Jew on crack," ...anyway, that made me want to listen to a couple of Winehouse's songs before I should allow Silverman to influence any judgment I may have about her. So after surfing around YouTube and reading a few lyrics, her voice isn't that bad. She's like a... modern Nina Simone and I only compare her to Simone because of how deep sounding their voices are. Will she be as great as Simone? Who knows... but I'm diggin' her so far.

Rehab -- Amy Winehouse

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back you'll know, know know
I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
Just tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go

I’d rather be at home with Ray
I ain’t got seventy days
Cos there’s nothing, nothing you can teach me
That I can’t learn from Mr Hathaway

I didn’t get a lot in class
But I know it don’t come in a shot glass

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back you'll know, know know
I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
Just tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go

The man said why you think you here?
I said I got no idea
I’m gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby
So I always keep a bottle near
He said I just think you’re depressed
This me,Yeah baby, and the rest

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back you'll know, know know

I don’t ever want to drink again
I just, ooh I just need a friend
I’m not gonna spend ten weeks
And have everyone think I'm on the mend

And it’s not just my pride
It’s just til these tears have dried

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no, no, no
Yes I been black but when I come back you'll know, know know
I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks I’m fine
Just tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go, go, go

In my opinion, she sung this song pretty well to a catchy beat. A few other ones that I like are Do Me Good and Fuck Me Pumps. Perhaps I should buy her album? ...Perhaps.

Modified until it becomes my best formula

Just to distract myself from another week of school, I decided to wash my hair since it was due for a deep condition again. But this time I modified my moisturizing conditioner formula so it's not as sticky... (still no molasses yet, though):

• 1/4 c. Creme of Nature Conditioner
• 1/4 c. 100% Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  
• 2 tbsp. Clover Honey
• 2-3 drops 100% Rosemary Essential Oil

I have a bottle of 100% Natural Avocado Oil, but I think I'll save that for the next wash. I'm not sure if I should add Avocado because it's rich in fat and protein, which tends to add volume to hair. And everybody knows that I do not need more volume, lol.

A/C ANYBODY??!

God today was hot! It's been everywhere between 95 to 101 degrees this week. And of course, without air conditioning. My sweat is dripping down my legs and back (boobs, too). I haven't been able to sleep well this week and the heat is making it increasingly difficult. I feel like I can't breathe in these temperatures. Why must I have been born to parents who hate A/C? Why??

And to add to my complaints, tomorrow is my first day at a public school. Ever. I'm used to being a part time, independent student... I have no idea who to ask for a schedule, let alone my first class. How do I know which room it is? Considering that the building was intentionally made to not have doors. And my classmates... will they be asses or angels? *anxious* :( I can't wait until Friday, though. There's going to be a free field trip to the Bodies Exhibition! Dad had promised to take me over the summer, but well over a $100 would be spent. When I heard about the field trip, I had the feeling that God wanted to make me feel better about the schooling situation. ^_^'

On the other hand, I'm proud of my gardening. My sunflower truly did grow quickly and is already blooming a gorgeous yellow. I'd like to plant some different kinds of sunflowers and a peach tree next. (In the second pic: behind the sunflower is a Japanese plum tree and beside it is a small plant that blooms white Tulips during Spring.)

Two Months Old

Insomnia, dammit!

As you can very well tell, I am severely suffering from insomnia for the past week or so. This is the latest I've stayed up compared to the usual 2AM since Sunday. I believe the cause of this has something to do with my emotional, as well as financial stresses. Let's just say... I'm really, really, not excited for the new school. Will the demanding requirements and schedule run me over? *sigh*

Anyway. In collaboration with my younger sister, I've developed a new layout and new format, too! Although she went to bed two hours ago, I must give her many thanks for staying up and giving my citrus theme a simple, cute banner. =) It took me forever to figure out and write the CSS codes for that common blog look, but I managed. I'm not really sure why I decided to go for the usual blog thing... I think it's because I was going through some past layouts and realized that I was really into archiving previous posts. I felt nostalgic and I also felt that this format is easier to maintain since I don't really blog that often.

I suppose I need to bring this to a close and get to bed... it is 5AM afterall. Hope everyone likes the new format.

Potion, anyone?

Well... I don't really have much to say... Errm, I went to orientation last Thursday at the new school. It was exciting to see the entire faculty having a Ph.d and wore white lab coats. I will also be an intern and have the privilege to have a doctor at the hospital as my mentor for the next two years. Next year, they said I'll be promoted into a paid intern (yaaay, money!) Which is great and it's a step towards my laptop + printer for college. Maybe I'll have enough money to put a treadmill in my apartment, too. Speaking of which, I wish the U.S. had apartments like they do in Korea. I only found one or two apartments that included Internet as their provided amenities. But I'll worry about that later... I've got to look forward to classes M-F, from 7AM-5PM and SAT prep. Ha... they tried to console me by telling me the first week of school will have a field trip. Kiss my ass. x_x'

On the contrary, I'm sure you guys heard me talk about my homemade concoction of honey and olive oil (maybe molasses as well when I have the chance to buy some). Guess what! IT WORKED. My hair's natural state of afroness is now these cute, shiny, silky curls. My hair is also soooo dark/black when usually it's slightly brown/red. I used:

• 1/2 cup pure clover honey
• 1/4 cup olive oil

I must say, making your own personal care products is great because not only do you know what's in it... it's completely unharmful and trustworthy. I guess I'll be saving an extra $80 to have my hair done by stylists who use chemicals and I don't mind not wearing my hair "bone-straight," I SHALL EMBRACE MY ETHNIC CURLS! (every now and then anyway.. >_>)

Queasy + Random = wtf?

Imph min Goeng stag. Yeah, I just made that up. Let's see... it's been a while since I last blogged, ne? Not doing much lately, been procrastinating a lot. Supposed to be studying for the SATs, but guess what! I'm not! Ahahhaahahahahwuahahahahahaaa *sobs* But on a lighter note, I decided to spend that Amazon certificate on myself. Ordered Evanescence's Open Door a couple of days ago. Amy Lee's voice is just so profound, I love the way I feel when I listen to her sing... it's electrifying sometimes. I've recently been worried about the West Nile Virus going on in the neighborhood. We generally didn't have mosquitos, but for some reason in the last couple of years, I've been noticing them. The local news is going nuts about how many people are getting sick from the damn Virus. And here I am, with sensitive skin that swells up w/bruises when bitten. I just hope my homemade window screen protects me... o.o;; Oh yeah, I got my transcript last week, it's definitely not where I want it to be. So far, they've averaged out all credits from 9th grade and I average a whopping 3.72 GPA. What the fuck? I need to pick up my game. *sigh* At least I was able to maintain it to be over 3.5 all these years, right? Heh, if I keep a 3.72 in college, I'd be eligible for the honors award. Speaking of which, Dad and I have also been discussing college life lately. We both agreed that I should get a studio or small apartment (I don't feel like being worried over dorm mates/roommates when trying to major in Molecular Cell Biology). I have a list of eight colleges as a safety net in case I'm not good enough for the others, but I have a very strong feeling that USC (University of Southern California) in Los Angeles will accept me. I kind of want to be close to home anyway because well... I'm gonna occasionally want mom's egg rolls, fried tofu/bean sprout veggies and sesame beef. *sigh* College loans, here I come! *eyes evil debt* But I must admit... being a young college student in Los Angeles is exciting. LA is like a more populated version of San Diego, just without the demanding family. Unrestricted, baby! =)

...I'm hungry. x_x'